The irate professor ruffled angrily through the dusty old manuscript, growing angrier with each turn of the page. Just because something is old, Martinson, does not make it valuable. This anopisthograph is not the precious masterpiece you seem to think it is. While many of the pages are, I will admit, quite beautiful, the writing, the grammar is.... well it's a crime against the language... against any language. Call me a zoilist if you want, but this whole thing is incoherent dribble. And stop that annoying sternutation. Get a hanky. Take a pill. Take this out of my sight.
Young Martinson stood gazing at the professor in between sneezes with a blank look on his face. Finally he asked in a meek voice. "Professor, do you speak English? I mean I know what you said was English... could you tell me what you said in words I could understand? You seem angry. I got that part."
"Young people today," muttered Professor Mungford. "Your educations are a tetteromous failure. Hitonious!"
"Professor, I still don't understand half of what you're saying," He sneezed miserably. I think I'm allergic to that manuscript. It makes me sneeze."
"I noticed," the professor grumbled. "Your repeated stenternation is very annoying. You must have noticed before that this anopisthograph makes you sneeze...."
"Ok... so stenternation is sneezing?"
"Of course, you ignorant idiot," grumbled the angry educator.
"And an anopisthograph is....???"
"A manuscript or parchment having writing on only one side of the leaves, of course..."
"Of course, professor.... but why did you say I could call you a zoologist?" "Not zoologist, Martinson, zoilist."
"Oh... uh... what's a zoilist?"
"Ignorance..." muttered the professor. "Zoilus was an noted Greek grammarian and philosopher. He was noted in part for being rather harsh and critical. The term "zoilist" has come to mean 'a rude or nasty critic who gets pleasure finding fault in others.' I get no pleasure at all from it," he smirked, "it's just my curse to be surrounded by fools."
"Ah. A hitonious fate indeed, professor."
"Hitonious, Martinson? Well done. Perhaps there's some hope for you after all. Let's have another look at your manuscript."