Sunday, June 01, 2008

One Single Impression: Freedom

This week's prompt for One Single Impression was "freedom." Alas, I had already written and posted a bunch of things for next week's prompt which is "pets," when I discovered this. Well, next week will be easy, I guess, since it's already done and not last minute like this morning's effort. Anyway, here's what I came up with. I added an old non-haiku poem and a VERY old poem at the very end today.

Freedom, oh, Freedom
I long to unlock the door
Of my self-made jail

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Struggling to survive
Oh economic freedom
Why can’t I find you


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Freedom is at risk
Not from outer enemies
But from “friends” within

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Watching hawks in sky
I hunger for such freedom
Earthbound as I am

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I've posted this here before, but it fits the topic and I like it, so...

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I wrote this poem when I was in 2nd grade. Unfortunately, it took me almost 40 years to even begin to break free of the emotional damage of my somewhat psycho family, but hopefully in some ways, at least, I'm starting to live the words I wrote at age 7.


29 comments:

Pam said...

"Watching hawks in sky
I hunger for such freedom
Earthbound as I am"
I love the linking of the predatory hawk and your hunger for freedom.

tt said...

Holy cow!! You wrote that at 7??!! Geez-o-pete...you were born with talent. Expressive talent.
gave me chills.

SandyCarlson said...

I do admire your work and appreciate the opportunity to visit the work of the young you! I'd like to fly, too!
Writing in Faith: Poems

Roswila said...

Goosebumps, Raven! I have a similar childhood history and wrote a story when not much older than you when you wrote your horse poem, about two rearing stallions. (I've always loved horses, BTW. :-D)

texasblu said...

I'm impressed with your "young poem" - you always show such beautiful depth in your writing. :)

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Love these . . . especially the stallion poem. (Yep, I love to read about horses.)

Amazing writing for a 2nd grader!


Blessings,
Linda

DRESS BLUES, at Nickers and Ink

the teach said...

Oh Raven, your poetry is so effective and heartfelt! I feel what you are feeling in all of them. I can't believe you wrote that marvelous poem at 7. And I'm sorry you suffered so. My thoughts are with you! :D

Dianne said...

all beautiful raven and all touched something in me - as everything you write always does.

missmays said...

what a wonderful poem! and the punctuation moves smoothly.what imagery you have used to define freedom too, only to find that its not enough. how often isn't that the case for us all. thanks Raven!

missmays said...

Just realised the poem I commented on wasn't written by you - beautiful either way, thanks for sharing it with us.
Amazing poetry you've wrote at that young age though, capturing the essence of freedom already then!

Raven said...

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Missmays - all the poems were written by me. Not sure which one you were commenting on, but they are all mine, for better or worse.

SnoopMurph said...

I love that second grade poem-our strengths seem to appear in us almost birth-and you definitely have a gift of putting words and thoughts together. I love all of your poetry and gosh, the economic freedom-I would LOVE that!

Miss you-I'll be back regularly now that school is done for the year!

Joyce said...

I LOVE your second-grade poetry! What a talented and spirited child. You made it! :)

Ele ^_^ said...

Great work! Very nice poetry ^^ Have a nice days & see ya ^^

Carletta said...

Raven - amazing poetry from then - to now!
That photo does indeed evoke Freedom - good choice.

teric said...

You have really experienced the need for freedom on a personal basis! Wonderful words then and now.

Quiet Paths said...

What a pleasure to view some early Raven work. The poetry for the prompt this week was so good. Your approach was gentle and honest. I kinda' got emotional in mine. *grin*

Billy said...

If you find the economic freedom, let me know :) Very nice lines as always!

gardenpath said...

I am so impressed, Raven. Not only with your early work, but with the lines you put together for this week's prompt.

me ann my camera said...

How amazing for a seven year old; the last two lines are wonderful. I also love your eagle poem.

Thank you for having visited and commented on mine.

missmays said...

well in that case, although I think they're all great I was especially affected and inspired by the lines in 'To spread out, unfold, as the eagle expands his wings..' It's a really powerful piece and should be published both on print and online.wow.
Thanks for your comments on my poem as well.

zoya gautam said...

hi raven,
the poem at seven is a wonder!the 'eagle' gives it wings..many thanks..

MyBellavia said...

Raven,

My favorite is the first. I can relate in so many ways. I used to write way back when too. It seemed a solice to me. Unfortunately, I didn't keep at it until recently. I would have liked to have known you as a second grader! We would have had so much in common. Wonderful lines as always!

Ackworth Born said...

It seems a few of us have taken OSI's prompt and brought out some old poems to show again.

Freedom is a personal concept which can be repressed but not totally broken.

Great post from you.

one more believer said...

raven.. these are beautiful....

Kathiesbirds said...

I like the hawk the eagle and your "Soul's Stallion," all of which I can relate to. And, like you, I am resurrecting poems from my past as well as writng new! Good work! I feel the longing in "My Soul's Stallion." I hope your soul is free now!

gautami tripathy said...

It is a pleasure to know you and read your works. I am very glad of that fact.

voice of reason

Lisa at Greenbow said...

All are good poems. Your 7yr old poem is amazing.

storyteller said...

All are amazing … but I think I’m touched the most by the last, written when you were in 2nd grade … for it reminds me how long I cut off from myself (starting about age 11) … but also because it’s ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! I’m glad I didn’t miss these ;--)

Hope you’re having a peace-filled weekend.
Hugs and blessings,