This week's prompt for One Single Impression was "freedom." Alas, I had already written and posted a bunch of things for next week's prompt which is "pets," when I discovered this. Well, next week will be easy, I guess, since it's already done and not last minute like this morning's effort. Anyway, here's what I came up with. I added an old non-haiku poem and a VERY old poem at the very end today.Freedom, oh, Freedom
I long to unlock the door
Of my self-made jail
Struggling to survive
Oh economic freedom
Why can’t I find you
Freedom is at risk
Not from outer enemies
But from “friends” within
Watching hawks in sky
I hunger for such freedom
Earthbound as I am
~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote this poem when I was in 2nd grade. Unfortunately, it took me almost 40 years to even begin to break free of the emotional damage of my somewhat psycho family, but hopefully in some ways, at least, I'm starting to live the words I wrote at age 7.
29 comments:
"Watching hawks in sky
I hunger for such freedom
Earthbound as I am"
I love the linking of the predatory hawk and your hunger for freedom.
Holy cow!! You wrote that at 7??!! Geez-o-pete...you were born with talent. Expressive talent.
gave me chills.
I do admire your work and appreciate the opportunity to visit the work of the young you! I'd like to fly, too!
Writing in Faith: Poems
Goosebumps, Raven! I have a similar childhood history and wrote a story when not much older than you when you wrote your horse poem, about two rearing stallions. (I've always loved horses, BTW. :-D)
I'm impressed with your "young poem" - you always show such beautiful depth in your writing. :)
Love these . . . especially the stallion poem. (Yep, I love to read about horses.)
Amazing writing for a 2nd grader!
Blessings,
Linda
DRESS BLUES, at Nickers and Ink
Oh Raven, your poetry is so effective and heartfelt! I feel what you are feeling in all of them. I can't believe you wrote that marvelous poem at 7. And I'm sorry you suffered so. My thoughts are with you! :D
all beautiful raven and all touched something in me - as everything you write always does.
what a wonderful poem! and the punctuation moves smoothly.what imagery you have used to define freedom too, only to find that its not enough. how often isn't that the case for us all. thanks Raven!
Just realised the poem I commented on wasn't written by you - beautiful either way, thanks for sharing it with us.
Amazing poetry you've wrote at that young age though, capturing the essence of freedom already then!
Thanks everyone for your kind words. Missmays - all the poems were written by me. Not sure which one you were commenting on, but they are all mine, for better or worse.
I love that second grade poem-our strengths seem to appear in us almost birth-and you definitely have a gift of putting words and thoughts together. I love all of your poetry and gosh, the economic freedom-I would LOVE that!
Miss you-I'll be back regularly now that school is done for the year!
I LOVE your second-grade poetry! What a talented and spirited child. You made it! :)
Great work! Very nice poetry ^^ Have a nice days & see ya ^^
Raven - amazing poetry from then - to now!
That photo does indeed evoke Freedom - good choice.
You have really experienced the need for freedom on a personal basis! Wonderful words then and now.
What a pleasure to view some early Raven work. The poetry for the prompt this week was so good. Your approach was gentle and honest. I kinda' got emotional in mine. *grin*
If you find the economic freedom, let me know :) Very nice lines as always!
I am so impressed, Raven. Not only with your early work, but with the lines you put together for this week's prompt.
How amazing for a seven year old; the last two lines are wonderful. I also love your eagle poem.
Thank you for having visited and commented on mine.
well in that case, although I think they're all great I was especially affected and inspired by the lines in 'To spread out, unfold, as the eagle expands his wings..' It's a really powerful piece and should be published both on print and online.wow.
Thanks for your comments on my poem as well.
hi raven,
the poem at seven is a wonder!the 'eagle' gives it wings..many thanks..
Raven,
My favorite is the first. I can relate in so many ways. I used to write way back when too. It seemed a solice to me. Unfortunately, I didn't keep at it until recently. I would have liked to have known you as a second grader! We would have had so much in common. Wonderful lines as always!
It seems a few of us have taken OSI's prompt and brought out some old poems to show again.
Freedom is a personal concept which can be repressed but not totally broken.
Great post from you.
raven.. these are beautiful....
I like the hawk the eagle and your "Soul's Stallion," all of which I can relate to. And, like you, I am resurrecting poems from my past as well as writng new! Good work! I feel the longing in "My Soul's Stallion." I hope your soul is free now!
It is a pleasure to know you and read your works. I am very glad of that fact.
voice of reason
All are good poems. Your 7yr old poem is amazing.
All are amazing … but I think I’m touched the most by the last, written when you were in 2nd grade … for it reminds me how long I cut off from myself (starting about age 11) … but also because it’s ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! I’m glad I didn’t miss these ;--)
Hope you’re having a peace-filled weekend.
Hugs and blessings,
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