Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Daily Reminder # 134

If nothing changes, nothing changes.... part 3

Change is an intrinsic part of life.  Some changes - like the coming of Spring - we look forward to with eager anticipation. Others -for me winter is one of these - we don't anticipate with quite such enthusiasm.  Sometimes change is subtle like the creeping aches and pains of age. And sometimes those creeping aches and pains are not even slightly subtle. 

I don't always cope well with change. I like the IDEA of change sometimes more than the process of going through it. I loved the idea of my new kitchen. The months of chaos that created that change were kind exhausting and traumatic... and now there is my wonderful kitchen which a year old and now the norm.  It took me forever to accept that change of needing a cane. My recent purchase of a walker (aka the Frenemie) is one of those changes I haven't done well with. It's folded up in a corner of the ktichen right now and I'm back to pushing my little red kitchen chair around as more steady feeling "walker." I may try the other again but right now the chair feels safer and steadier and less... "fragile old lady."

I'm not sure what my point is. Maybe just that change - good or bad - is unsettling and traumatic. It raises fears. It raises expectations. It often asks us to redefine ourselves. We often expect ourselves to go through even the most profound changes as though they were a walk in the park. But they aren't. Change almost always taps into hope and fear in equal measure. And when it's dramatic, it's exhausting - even if it's movement towards the good. In times of change many of the most wounded among us tend to add to our own stress by condemning ourselves for struggling. Not doing that - instead being kind to ourselves - is a change we can work on. Being tender with ourselves no matter what is change worth working on. You would think that would be easy, a no brainer, but for someone like me and others I know - it's one of the most challenging changes there is. Self judgment comes easy; self love... not so much.

Some things I'm grateful for today:

  • laughter
  • cats
  • orange-pineapple smoothies
  • my microwave
  • my house
  • thermal windows and a nice view
  • friends
  • fall colors
  • music
  • computer games
  • my brain
  • my red chair
  • hope
  • the telephone
  • remote controls
  • reiki

Have a Glorious day
Be Kind to Yourself

1 comment:

Argent said...

Aw, sorry to hear that your frenemie is in the corner. You are right, though, change is not easy to deal with - even when it's something we've looked forward to. I don't 'do' change very well myself. It's a security thing, fear of the unknown and all that. I wonder if I'll ever get over this, it's stopped me from doing quite a lot of things in my life.