I'm going with Neale Donald Walsh again tonight. God wanted us to know this 4 days ago, but I am only getting to it now. It's a good lesson, I think... one I struggle with still. My self hate has diminished with therapy and time, but it is still pretty strong. That said, I think there must be some self love at my core or I would not have been able to survive my childhood and I would not be capable of loving others as much as I do. Perhaps it's because I am empathic. I don't know.
I think this message from God is so simple and so profoundly complex and difficult at the same time. The thing I find trickiest, the place where I fall of cliffs between what I believe and what I DO - is loving people whose behavior I find abhorrent, people whose actions seem motivated by selfishness and hate. Yet aren't they the ones who need our love the most. I always used to ponder that in my church going days as we all intoned The Lord's Prayer without (by and large) giving a thought to what we were actually saying. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. (I always thought... Really? If I'm going to ask that, I really need to change my ways.) But I digress. I will let Neale Walsh and God speak for themselves....
On this day of your life, dear friend,
I believe God wants you to know...
....that love is not what you want, it is what you are.
It is very important to not get these two confused.
If you think that love is what you want, you will go searching for it all over the place. If you think love is what you are, you will go sharing it all over the place. The second approach will cause you to find what the searching will never reveal.
Yet you cannot give love in order to get it. Doing that is as much as saying you do not now have it. And that statement will, of course, be your reality. No, you must give love because you have it to give. In this will you experience your own possession of it.
Some things I'm grateful for today:
- a cleaner house
My new chair. Feels good to not wonder
if what I'm sitting on will continue to hold me.
- hummus and potato chips
- Fall colors
- my camera
- my wonderful mattress
- Angel and Tara Grace
- apple cider
- the smell of white sage
- tears/the capacity for emotion
- my new chair
- Neale Donald Walsh
- the possibility of self love
- my home
Have a Great Day!
and know that you are Loved