Thursday, June 17, 2010

Daily Reminder # 21

Crow a little.

This is a challenge to myself as much as anyone else. Most women (men too) - at least in my age group - have been taught a kind of insane self-effacing modesty which serves nobody's highest good.

In my own life, I was made to feel ashamed of feeling good about myself. In my case this training came as a two-pronged attack. My mother, who was totally shame based in everything she said and did, didn't approve of self esteem. My brother, a genius who was already treated like a god, resented any positive attention that came my way. Success for me was something I got punished for. Many of us, I think have similar stories. We have been sinned against in this treatment, however good or ill the intentions of the perpetrators.

So... I dare myself and others to step up and brag about yourself. I was going to say come up with 5 things, but I'm going to up the ante. Ten things. And if you can.... say them out loud to another human being. (I'm writing them out loud but will try to find a way to speak at least one or two of them. No promises. Even writing is a bit anxiety-producing. The Demonalia crowd is warming up in my head. "You're WHAT? Who says? You've got to be kidding." I say to them with as much conviction as I can muster: (Polite version) "Go jump in the lake."

So ok... Here are ten things good about me:

  • I write well.
  • I have a nice voice.
  • I'm intelligent.
  • I'm brave. (you should HEAR them laughing in Demonalia)
  • I'm kind.
  • Despite being isolated and homebound, I'm able to help people.
  • I have a nice smile.
  • I'm generous.
  • I'm funny.
  • I'm a loyal and good friend.
  • I'm an INFP on the Briggs Myers Personality test, which makes me a fairly unique personality

You can probably tell I was getting really desperate there at the end. So I cheated. These aren't really very good example. Something like "I did a great job publicizing that event. I'm better at this job than anyone they've had before." "I'm smart and talented." Crowing isn't easy... at least not for me. It takes practice.

I'm going to commit to crowing three times a day... to myself in the mirror. It's a start. A new habit.

Some things I'm grateful for today:

  • Tara Grace has forgiven me
  • Tara Grace is feeling a bit better
  • Angel is really healthy
  • Crows
  • The garbage is out and the litter box changed
  • Colors and eyes to see them

(Bad pun, I know.)


Janie B said...

I love this post, Raven! GOOD FOR YOU!! You are awesome! I went through a year of therapy to learn to do that (still don't very often).

CJ said...

You also take excellent bird photos.

Sorry about your cat's illness. I understand about the medicine. We have had several cats we've rescued from the streets ---who do not take well to handling, especially when trying to give them medicine. Even with the docile cat we have now ---it takes both my husband and I to get medication into her, and even then, we often end up with deep scratches.

And, yes, we all need to pat ourselves on the back occasionally ---usually no one else will.

I've been out of it for months now. I post occasionally on my blog, but haven't done wordzzle for ages. I took a break because of my 95-year-old mother's deteriorating condition and some graphic artwork I had promised to complete. Not long after, my mother died, then I had a whole new set of things to do. Memorial service. Get rid of all her stuff, get the house prepared for my niece to move in ---my niece did a lot of the work. Deal with lawyers, probate, and all of that. We spent much of February shoveling snow. In March I decided I had let myself go for too long, so I started working out at the local YMCA, Then it seemed like so many things in our house needed attention ---and as soon as spring hit, we had to start working in the yard and garden.

I was also preparing for a trip to Brazil this August---trying to relearn the Portuguese I had forgotten since I lived there 40+ years ago. But the friend who I was going to travel with had her own family problems so the trip has been postponed until (probably) next spring.

So I am still alive and I do check your blog occasionally. But I just haven't had the time to do much blogging at all.

You do seem more upbeat than you were for a while. Hope that lasts.

San said...

You have cawsed joy with this post, Raven. Thank you!

When my little laptop expired, I believe I lost your email address. But if you're still sending the Reiki energy from a distance, please remember my friend Julie. You can email me for the details.


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