Views from Raven's Nest: Daily Reminder # 377

Nobody visited the back yard today until very late and the pictures I took were really awful, so Angel wins. She had one of her really photogenic days, which was nice since all my other pictures were... I still haven't done my wordzzle exercises. I am kind of discouraged about wordzzles. I think I may go to once a month and see if maybe that helps. Or maybe just take a break for a while. Writing them just for myself is really not much fun any more. Good creative challenge, but....Anyway, I have to make a decision... and until I do put in the effort to do my part in the meme.

Last night I watched the 2003 Disney movie version of A Wrinkle In Time, a wonderful book I read 50 or more years ago. God, I'm old! How depressing is that? How stunning to think that I read it more than 50 years ago. Oh, my, oh my! But anyway, it was a good movie. About lots of things, including the teen angst (that for me has never gone away) of finding yourself, owning your uniqueness. I'm better than I used to be about that. My toxic shame is still pretty severe, but I am way more forgiving of myself for being human than I was even 10 years ago. Of course this may be partly because I have very little human contact and so I am in a self-hate cocoon of sorts. Dr. Jim - cruel wit that he is... no longer tries to dissuade me when I'm on one of my fits of self hate. "Yes, you really are awful..." And then helps me work through it. I am very lucky that he is willing to work with me by phone... or at all. He has been such a gift in my life. It's always a good idea when you are bashing yourself to stop and think about whether you would ever speak to anyone else that way.

Some things I'm grateful for today: (Items in red are pre-gratitude, an effort to encourage, inspire, cajole, persuade, trick the Creative Forces of the Universe into fulfilling my dreams.)