Daily Reminder # 10

Listen carefully to the things you tell yourself.

I've become aware lately of some things I repeat to myself without even quite knowing I'm doing it. My two biggest ones are that I'm stupid. (Often phrased in the form of a question: How stupid are you, anyway?) I've been making an effort to correct myself at least to the point of reminding myself that I'm not stupid at all, even though I sometimes (fairly often) do stupidly self-destructive things. One of my other big ones is telling myself that I'm tired. I may in fact BE tired, but I've noticed that sometimes when muttering to myself about how tired I am, that I'm not really tired. I may be sad or bored or depressed... but often "tired" becomes my short-hand and I've discovered that even when I am genuinely tired, I feel worse when I tell re-enforce it to myself. For me, it's a way of crawling into my hole when I do that. I don't have a great corrector for it. It's a deep habit. I'm just trying to be more aware of it and change the message I tell myself to something else.

There are so many messages out there. Even when others may be giving us messages that feed our demons, we can make it a point to listen to how we adopt them. They think I'm may not be right for this job.... let them think that. You don't have to agree with them. You don't have to let your inner demons make the guy's song your own. Change the words. This job was meant for me and I was meant for it. It's my destiny. Time will prove that.

Then there's the "what's wrong with me" song so many of us sing. Lazy is one of my favorites. Disability equals laziness. Not being able to break from my agoraphobia means moral bankruptcy.... I could go on and on. The inner demons chant chorus after chorus of my many failings. I'm trying, lets change that to making an effort -trying my therapist once told me is another word for I'm not going to do it - to change the words and even the tunes of these subliminal lies I whisper in my own ear.

The mind, body and spirit believe what we tell them. Let's keep our ears open and tell them nicer things then we usually do. As my friend E (kind person and superlative punster), for whom these posts are really being written, likes to say: "You're no bunny til some bunny loves you." Well let's set an example for ourselves (and our inner bunny) and speak only words of love and kindness... to ourselves and not just the rest of the world.

Some things I'm grateful for today:

• ears to hear
• witch hazel (the astringent lotion, not... )
• salad
• Crocs shoes