Sometimes it's good to be in hot water.... well, at least to have hot water to be in. My water heater is fixed and tomorrow I can shower again. Yippee! Ok... so it's a really crumby pun, but sometimes the things that seem like the worst things in life ultimately turn out to carry the best rewards. Granted, sometimes we have to wait an insufferably long time for the pay off, God's time being someone more leisurely than our own and all that.
It has been one of those weeks when pretty much nothing is going the way it's supposed to - or at any rate it hasn't been going the way I want it to. I haven't been feeling that great and I've been forgetting to take the sam-e which is what I use to temper my Depression. When I forget it, I tend to get very tired and weepy-ish. And of course I usually forget when things are stressful and I'm most in need of it. Human nature, I guess.
Anyway.... Tara is doing better, which means her natural resistance to the kind of touch required to stick a syringe with antibiotics into her mouth is pretty vigorous. Mix this with my anxiety and lack of agility and you have a match made in a place you don't want to go to. So last night, the treatment that I started out giving at 3 am finally got into her (mostly) at FOUR am. I planned my assault for the time of bed-time crunchies on the theory that a) I could reach her easier the way we do crunchies and b) she'd be all happy because crunchies are her favorite thing in the world and so my little medicine attack would go smoothly and have a happy crunchie association as a reward for success. Alas, it did NOT go well. It went so badly that she didn't eat her crunchies at all and now I feel like I have robbed her of her favorite thing in life. On the up side (why this even qualifies for the hot water analogy) after it was all over and I went to bed, she spent about 15 minutes walking back and forth on my pillow giving me head butts. So I may have ruined her life but she still loves me. It's a mixed blessing, but I'm so self-centered, that I'm really happy that she still loves me. Of course this afternoon's event didn't go so well either so God knows how I'll get tonight's dose into her wiry, flexible, determined little body. The wonder of it all is that she still loves me. Go figure.
I think I had a point when I started out but I have to admit that I have don't really quite know what my point is tonight.
I guess that in my life some of the worst things have lead to great life gifts. If I hadn't had the two crazy landlords before the last one, I don't know if I'd have had the courage and strength to stand my ground and get my house. Each situation developed something in me that made me stronger and prepared me for something better (a home of my own) down the road.
My crazy family members who screwed me up, probably also evolved my capacity for compassion. The stubborn will that lets Tara resist her medication is the same stubborn will that undoubtedly kept her alive while she lived on the streets. The death of my beloved tree by lightning strike two years ago was what introduced me to my then new neighbors and brought the delight of Shannon into my life.
We never know what doors are opened by the events in our lives. It's part of why I love the Thank you for Everything mantra... it invites in the sunshine that lies behind the clouds.
I don't feel like I'm being terribly coherent today, but this is all I've got.
Some things I'm grateful for today:
- A working hot water heater
- Tara Grace still loves me
- computer games
- the sky - cloudy or clear
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!