Sometimes our so-called imperfections are what make us the jewels of perfection that we are.
I'm not much of a fence person, but I love the old, falling-down fence at the back end of my yard. If it was a sturdy, standing-up fence. I'd probably want to take it down, but there's something about it's leaning, half-collapsed condition that just makes me happy, that appeals to my eye. It's kind of like my own special yard art. It can't keep anything or anybody out; you could knock it down without half trying and that's why I love it.
Much like my fence, my wounds are fundamental aspects of what makes me Me. My agoraphobia is a great weakness but it also is an essential part of what why I relate to the world the way I do. Angel's penchant for creative naughtiness (she has just pushed a little blue glass bird off the desk as I type this) is both what makes her so incredibly entertaining and adorable and also what makes me want to kill her (at least figuratively). Tara's inner emotional war between her desire for attention and her fear of it makes everyone who meets her want to pick her up and hug her. (The Law of Opposites or something like that.)
Anyway, I've tried (somewhat successfully and somewhat unsuccessfully) to make peace with who I am. I don't know that I've quite made peace with being weird, but I have accepted it. Well, pretty much, anyway. In case you haven't guessed, I have issues about having/not having issues. God, it's not easy being me...
I could probably ramble on about this and not really add much, but one of my flaws is extreme laziness, so I will stop here, I guess. I think I came up with a good analogy for the virtue of our flaws - a rock collector's analogy. Take a piece of quartz or amethyst.... I guess there may be two schools of thought on this. Jewelers may like gems that are all clarity. But for me, the best of them have lots of wonderful little flaws called "inclusions," that reflect the light and make rainbows and interesting patterns.
So I say that it is our "inclusions" that make us who we are and that make us interesting to know.
Some things I'm grateful for today:
- my flaws (she coughed out half-heartedly)
- my beautiful rock collection
- sesame chips