Crow a little.
This is a challenge to myself as much as anyone else. Most women (men too) - at least in my age group - have been taught a kind of insane self-effacing modesty which serves nobody's highest good.
In my own life, I was made to feel ashamed of feeling good about myself. In my case this training came as a two-pronged attack. My mother, who was totally shame based in everything she said and did, didn't approve of self esteem. My brother, a genius who was already treated like a god, resented any positive attention that came my way. Success for me was something I got punished for. Many of us, I think have similar stories. We have been sinned against in this treatment, however good or ill the intentions of the perpetrators.
So... I dare myself and others to step up and brag about yourself. I was going to say come up with 5 things, but I'm going to up the ante. Ten things. And if you can.... say them out loud to another human being. (I'm writing them out loud but will try to find a way to speak at least one or two of them. No promises. Even writing is a bit anxiety-producing. The Demonalia crowd is warming up in my head. "You're WHAT? Who says? You've got to be kidding." I say to them with as much conviction as I can muster: (Polite version) "Go jump in the lake."
So ok... Here are ten things good about me:
- I write well.
- I have a nice voice.
- I'm intelligent.
- I'm brave. (you should HEAR them laughing in Demonalia)
- I'm kind.
- Despite being isolated and homebound, I'm able to help people.
- I have a nice smile.
- I'm generous.
- I'm funny.
- I'm a loyal and good friend.
- I'm an INFP on the Briggs Myers Personality test, which makes me a fairly unique personality
You can probably tell I was getting really desperate there at the end. So I cheated. These aren't really very good example. Something like "I did a great job publicizing that event. I'm better at this job than anyone they've had before." "I'm smart and talented." Crowing isn't easy... at least not for me. It takes practice.
I'm going to commit to crowing three times a day... to myself in the mirror. It's a start. A new habit.
Some things I'm grateful for today:
- Tara Grace has forgiven me
- Tara Grace is feeling a bit better
- Angel is really healthy
- The garbage is out and the litter box changed
- Colors and eyes to see them
CAWS YOURSELF SOME JOY TODAY!
(Bad pun, I know.)