Phooey on positive thinking...
Ok, it's only day six of trying to keep my friend E's morale up and I'm already having a really hard time coming up with something to say every day. Today is especially tough because it was an kind of awful day from start to finish... and I kind of fell off the advice wagon... I didn't focus on the positive. I didn't look over the shoulder of the "bad" things that were happening. I chained them to myself and dragged them around all day.
First Angel came in to the bedroom early this morning all spooky and came under the covers (even though it was hot and humid and yucky). Then she climbed up on my hip and sat at high alert staring out the bedroom door as though we were having a home invasion (we weren't). But anyway, even though I knew better, she got me all frazzled so I got up earlier than I might have, feeling tired and cranky and warm and my coffee came out awful (out of creamer too). And the weather was weird this morning... sort of ominous feeling, though it turned out to just be an ordinary rainy-ish day and cooled down and (dare I say it in this morose ramble?) and ended up being kind of a nice day at the end.
Then the neighbor came by to give me some unhappy news about a variety of things in the neighborhood. The lady across the street has to sell the house she was born in because she can't afford to keep it, among other things. Then the Schwan's guy came and we talked about his wife who is very ill and somehow got onto the subject of my sister's murder.
Oh - and my yard looks awful to me. It's all uncared for and overgrown and I can only afford to get it mowed once a month right now.... and I think the birds are ashamed to come here any more... They prefer a higher class establishment.
Oh - and Discover Card lost my check that I sent them. I sent two and apparently their machine can't handle two at once. Sigh.
I tried to bury myself in a game. I have Zuma now, which is a good way to (in theory) release some stress but I'm stuck at level 8-4 and can't get past it so even that has left me frustrated.
How's this for a pity party? Pretty pathetic, don't you think. What about looking for the good... And there is good. I'm just dancing with the devil today and I'm not going to come here and lie and pretend I'm sitting on a cloud. So I apologize.
So today's reminder is: Do as I say, not as I do. I will be positive tomorrow, I promise. Really.... I'm pretty much over it.... I think. And when you have an off day, forgive yourself and let yourself enjoy being miserable if you can.
And here's a flower as an apology for being the anti-reminder.
A few things I'm grateful for today:
- That tomorrow is another day
- Schwan's food delivery
- Dennis Puffett's healing page
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
(Remember... do as I say, not as I do)