Thursday, May 31, 2012

Daily Reminder # 673

Brewers Blackbird

After two long, yucky August in May days, today was utterly perfect. Blue skies, a soft breeze, mild temperatures. And some birds even came to the back porch. Could I ask for more? Probably, but this was pretty good.  My niece's dog made it through his surgery and is doing very well.  The Counsel of Demonalians have quieted down to a large extent on the subject of Dr. Jim's kindness and my unworthiness. They have tried one or two subversive approaches, but I caught them so I have hope that I am going to weather the inner storm and learn a deeper, fuller level of receiving. 

There's a wee (well not so wee - but smaller than the others) young
woodchuck hanging out in the yard now. You can still kind of see the
baby-ness can't you? I wish he had come closer to the house.
I really WOULD like to win enough money to pay him, though, and to pay my debts and help my friends out. But in the meantime, while the Creative Forces of the Universe are working on that, I will try to accept, that whether I think I deserve it or not, Dr. Jim - who I admire more than almost anyone in the world - thinks I am worthy of his generosity. It's called a double bind or something like that. If I question my worthiness, I'm questioning his judgment and rejecting his gift and that's worse (close call) than being unworthy, though The Demonalian crowd would have it that thinking I'm worthy is further proof that I'm not. They are real stinkers, the Demonalians and they don't give up easily. 

Vanessa the Chased .
She is probably not chaste, but Scarface the Greedy
makes certain that she gets plenty of running time in.
This is a good life lesson for me.  It is perhaps no coincidence that a friend of mine - whose inner Demons may just be a match for my own - is in such stress that she has reached out for a shoulder to cry on, something very difficult for her to do. Her crisis is something I have been through to a lesser degree. Our accepting help and self-worth issues are very much the same, though, and I don't think it is a accident that we are talking a lot at this moment in time. There really IS something to trusting the rightness of even all the wrong things that happen in life. It's not always easy and I don't think accepting the rightness means you don't feel the grief and fear and anger and panic and whatever else. But it is a life preserver to cling to. The most grievous, painful times in my life, the most frightening situations, have always ultimately born rich fruit. The bush with the thorns also carries the rose. And so on. Anyway, That's my thoughts for the day. 

Female Brewers Blackbird
For the rest - more pictures and my gratitude list.

From the front window. Neighbors must have red berries.

Some things I'm grateful for today: (Items in red are pre-gratitude, an effort to develop my manifesting muscles, to embrace abundance and worthiness and to make friends with the Creative Forces of the Universe so that they will wish to inspire and assist in the manifestation of my needs and dreams.)

  • Angel and Tara Grace
  • Coffee and Int'l Delight
  • lemon poppy muffins (yum)
  • butter
  • water
  • Margaret
  • the garbage man
  • an exquisitely beautiful day
  • angels
  • miracles
  • the telephone
  • my computer
  • the internet
  • email
  • indoor plumbing
  • electricity
  • my Tibetan salt lamps
  • Schwans
  • fans
  • my TV (getting used to almost life-sized people)
  • the remote control
  • the mute button
  • batteries
  • rechargeable batteries
  • my camera
  • my back yard
  • the view from my front window
  • visitors to my back porch who sit still long enough to be photographed
  • Netflix
  • the US mail
  • music
  • Pandora radio
  • my awesome Bose speakers
  • the joy of listening
  • the joy of singing
  • the boom box by my bed
  • my alarm clock
  • that Emmet (Diana's dog) made it through surgery and is doing well
  • reiki
  • angels
  • miracles
  • Dennis Puffett
  • my friends
  • that I can be of help sometimes
  • my nieces, my nephew and their families
  • that they are happy, healthy and successful  (and each awesomely talented)
  • that they love me and that I love them
  • Dr. Jim's generosity
  • Sight
  • taste
  • touch
  • smell
  • hearing
  • an inexpensive, safe way to hook in the dryer my friends gave me
  • new curtains
  • blinds for the front window
  • a ceiling fan in the bedroom
  • freshly painted living and bedroom walls
  • a bed for the guest bedroom
  • a new (Dutch) front door
  • $5,000/week for life from PCH - or a million a year for life. Either is good
  • a truckload of money (big bills)
  • winning lottery numbers
  • a reading and healing with Nancy DuTertre
  • having the people I love celebrate my 65th birthday with me in July
  • company/companionship
  • one or more whistling vessel gathering
  • Nintendo
  • more paying reiki clients
  • a paid off mortgage
  • zero balance on my credit cards
  • lower interest rates
  • a sun room on the back of the house
  • more flowers/landscaping for the back yard
  • seeing the red list turn to black
  • the ability to read and write
  • the ability to type
  • my chair/walker
  • my cane
  • that my legs still wobble me around with help
  • Sam-e
  • Omega-3
  • IP-6
  • Vitamin D-3
  • Coconut Oil
  • my grabber
  • paper towels
  • my mattress
  • cooler evening air
  • my electric toothbrush
  • my teeth
  • Listerine
  • breath
  • a heart beat
  • a reasonably functional brain
  • beauty
  • the colors of the rainbow
  • my rock collection
  • Words
  • ideas
  • poetry
  • literature
  • Jon Stewart
  • Stephen Colbert
  • Comedy Central
  • PBS
  • the Sci-Fi Channel
  • CNN (sort of. probably more of a curse but...)
  • resilience
  • determination
  • computer games
  • food in my refrigerator/freezer
  • SSD
  • my neighbors
  • Google
  • YouTube
  • chipmunks
  • birds
  • flowers (the wild roses are in bloom)
  • all the things I'm forgetting
  • hope
  • possibilities
  • kindness
  • love
  • laughter
  • life

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