Monday, April 04, 2011

Daily Reminder # 308

Today the sky was blue, the temperature neared 50 (it was in the 40s anyway). More snow melted. I feel much happier about life than I have for a while. I feel hopeful. Winter really IS going to end. That said, I'm feeling troubled about the recent murders of UN folks in Afghanistan. One idiot pastor in Florida and his band of merry bigots commit an act of hate in the name of one peaceful religion that they don't understand and unleash violent retributive hate (stage-managed from what I've read) by another group of bigots pretending to represent a different peaceful religion. I have to fight the urge (in this as in other things political and/or violent) to get angry and add that ugly energy to the ugly energy which started the cycle. I know I've said this often, but energy has power. What we think and how we focus that energy on has power. I was listening to Oprah's Master Class on her own life earlier and she was talking about the same thing. It's at the heart of the huna (Hawaiian spirtuality) teachings I discovered reading and meeting Serge Kahili King. It's at the heart of reiki. Ironically, it's at the heart of both Christianity and Islam, though you often wouldn't know it from the voices who often claim most loudly to speak for those faiths. 

I know this is an awful photo, but she was so cute poking
her head out and occasionally batting at the mylar toy.
Ugliness of spirit is very seductive in some ways, in both small and large ways.  I've been going through another Huffington Post phase and the other afternoon on a discussion about the environment of all things, someone - a number of people actually - felt the need to make mean personal comments about my weight (based in a teeny tiny photo of my face). One said something along the lines of "think about all the energy you waste driving for fast food," and another said people like me with diabetes and high blood pressure should worry about Obama care and being the first to lose benefits. It was very strange. I've made peace with my weight in some ways. I can barely walk across a room. I'm not going to be exercising it off any time soon. But the shame about it runs deep. It was an issue with my mother before I was three months old. I resisted the temptation to be respond with real ugliness, but I did say something along the lines of not having diabetes or high blood pressure but that ignorant boors do piss me off." I could have handled it better. I could have said "that was hurtful.and unnecessary and called him on being mean," rather than being cranky. But I didn't. 

But back to the what I was talking about. Energy has power. I've probably told this story here before about going to a retreat when I was in Seminary (long story) and the nuns (Episcopal - or Pisky Palians as I like to call them) were a dying order and pretty depressed. The food the first night was less tasty than cardboard. It was genuinely awful. I got everyone to do a "love" experiment and we all as a group and individually sent them love. Next day they seemed less gloomy and - equally importantly, the food was awesome. Thoughts - the energy we send out - has tremendous power. If we all spent even an ten minutes a day sending love to all the people we don't agree with (as well as those we already love), I have no doubt that the world would transform. Alas, it's easier said than done.  Evidence how unloving I felt about someone implying (correctly, which made it worse) that I am fat. Bastard.  Of course there's a good chance my real anger is at myself for being fat, but that's a subject for a whole other post.  Anyway, I do wrap the world in reiki every night, but I think maybe I'll make an effort to go a little further spend more time. If I come up with something formal, I'll let you know and invite you to join it.

Some things I'm grateful for today: (items in red are pre-gratitude, an effort to schmoose the Universe (and my own subconscious) into thinking I'm worthy of receiving things I'm giving thanks for.)

  • Angel and Tara Grace
  • my microwave
  • my house
  • the remote control
  • my TV
  • my computer
  • Netflix
  • reiki
  • angels
  • magic
  • love
  • baked potatoes
  • butter
  • cheese
  • the internet
  • my camera
  • Nintendo
  • a sun room on the back of the house
  • $5,000/week for life from PCH
  • zero balance on my credit cards
  • paid off mortgage
  • winning lottery numbers
  • a clothes dryer
  • freshly painted living and bedroom walls
  • a Bose sound system
  • toy mice
  • Viralys
  • Sam-e
  • Vitacost
  • rocks
  • aromas
  • the smell of white sage
  • coffee and International Delight
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • silverware
  • ear phones
  • Dennis Puffett
  • ibuprofen
  • my Tibetan salt lamps
  • my eyes
  • my ears
  • the sense of smell
  • the ability to taste
  • legs that still wobble me from room to room
  • my cane
  • my red chair
  • my desk chair
  • my mattress
  • blankets
  • temperatures in the 40s
  • hope of Spring
  • hope
  • music
  • laughter
  • words
  • ideas
  • the ability to read and write
  • friends
  • my nieces, my nephew and their families
  • life



quilly said...

This was pretty much the theme of pastor's sermon today, too. Thoughts generate words, words generate actions -- think "good" thoughts, speak "good" words, engage in "good" actions least we will think "bad" thoughts, speak "bad" words, and engage in "bad" actions.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Argent said...

That was a mean thing to say to you and meaner to make assumptions that you go around driving for fast food. Based on what? I don't blame you at all for your response, it was entirely human. It is difficult to get above these things. Since I was a kid I've been bullied about my eyesight which is very poor. I've had insults (and stones) chucked at me in the street because of the gawpy way I look (people assume a profound mental impairment) and I have to say I struggle to forgive, I really do. Love your enemies and do good to those that hate you is just about the toughest challenge there is. Hang in there.